Steve Almond response

Steve almond brought up a good point about the difference between real sex and pornography, the difference is much like that of love and desire. desire and pornography both breed fantasy changing from person to person, real sex and love work hand and hand and reveal a depth of the self and not all of it is pretty and perfect. there can be no love without desire but there can be desire without love, like there is sex involved in porn but real sex does not include the "gymnastics" as Steve almond had put it during his reading. when in love there is indeed fear, doubt, insecurities, hope and longing these contradicting emotions contribute to the overall feeling of arousal we all long for. without the mixed feelings and internal struggle passionate love turns into compassionate love. once there is less to be insecure about and the doubts diminish what is left is what will determine if the relationship can last. in the process of discovering new love there is the desire for ones partner to accept things about them that that have trouble accepting themselves  maybe if this person can accept them they are one step closer to accepting themselves. in Steve Almonds short story Skull when one of the characters, Zach, was explaining to the other, character Pete, the reasoning behind his odd sexual behavior with his girlfriend he said "You know, anyone can love the other parts of her. You've seen her, Pete. She's a beautiful woman. But to have a man accept that part of her, it drives her crazy. That's what we all want anyway, to have our lover accept the most damaged part of us, right? Am I right?" while love and contribute to the damaged parts of us psychologically, the partnership of  a relationship and not having to deal with things individually but together makes it worth the efforts. in one of my favorites films "Like Crazy' there is a quote that cam to mind " ...the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it's the halves that halve you in half. I didn't know, don't know, about the in-between bits; the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me."love is  wanting to be part of something even if it can break you down, all in order to feel acceptance and perhaps to see that someone else is just as damaged as you.